Obituary - Robert Clanrye McGaffin
Robert Clanrye McGaffin
Robert “Bob” Clanrye McGaffin died peacefully at home with family on August 15, 2025. He was born April 2, 1931 in Brooklyn, NY to Ralph and Shelagh McGaffin. He grew up in North Plainfield, NJ, where his family moved shortly after his birth. At the time, North Plainfield was a rural community. There was a dairy farm next to Bob’s house. The family loved having Bob visit, explore their farm, and help out with the chores. Bob loved this responsibility that perfectly suited the mechanical mind that was developing inside him. By 14 he was driving a tractor on (and off) the farm and taking care of the horses. The freedom and autonomy allowed Bob to develop the sense of independence, exploration and curiosity that developed throughout his life.
He and a friend decided to join the Navy together in 1950. However, his friend joined early. Bob visited the recruiting office on his own and learned about a role in the Navy that had “something to do with electronics” according to the recruiting officer. He spent several days studying for the qualification exam, passed the test, and joined the Navy. He was stationed near the Great Lakes for electronics school in the Navy. His sister, Margaret “Terry”, lived in Milwaukee, so Bob would visit many weekends when he was on “liberty” from his assignments. One Saturday evening in Milwaukee, he heard about a party for servicemen at the Knights of Pythias and attended the party. He sat down with a friend who happened to be there and met Joan Osterhus, who was also visiting with a friend. They struck an immediate connection and were engaged six weeks later.
Bob and Joan married and began the life of a Navy couple. They lived in Endicott, NY, Baltimore, Norfolk, VA, and Aberdeen, MD . He was required to take a test to advance his position as an Electronics Technician. He failed the test despite having taught the same information to technicians for the past 6 months. Bob went up the chain of command insisting that there was a mistake. His efforts were rebuffed at every level and he was considered a troublemaker for challenging the system. He was transferred to another ship on which he discovered a means of being discharged early.
With his hopes of building a career in the Navy discouraged, Bob soon found a position as an electronics technician with IBM. One of his first assignments was to service some test-scoring machines for the military. He discovered how easy it was for the IBM machine to misread the test responses and suddenly realized how he had failed that test!
By this time, the family was growing with kids: Karen, Rob “Sam”, Lynn, David, and Steve. Bob and Joan fostered a family that loved to be together. After building a home in Janesville, WI, Bob had the opportunity to develop his career in the burgeoning Research Triangle Park. During his first visit to Raleigh, he left Janesville blanketed in snow at 15° and arrived to a pleasant 70° in Raleigh. He was convinced.
Bob and Joan raised their kids in the same house in North Raleigh over the next 25 years. With an empty house and as Bob was approaching retirement, they began to travel together both internationally and across the country, visiting friends and family who had scattered to Missouri, Utah, Massachusetts, and Tennessee, Wisconsin, and New Jersey.
Travel was interspersed with service to others. Bob and Joan were active members of Grace Lutheran Church in Raleigh, NC. Bob volunteered for many construction projects at the church and Joan happily devoted herself to teaching at the School of Grace, a preschool associated with the church that was created and led by their daughter, Lynn. Bob also built houses with Habitat for Humanity. They spent many years volunteering for Meals on Wheels in the Raleigh area.
Joan was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2004. They decided to sell the family home and move into Springmoor Life Care Retirement Community. It was a big move, but they found a welcoming community that made them never regret their decision. After years of devoted care and attention from Bob, Joan passed away in 2009. He was devastated by the loss of his beloved Joan, whose care had become his most sacred act of love.
Always looking for the opportunity to help others, Bob began volunteering at a convenience store, which he called "The Little Corner Store" on the Springmoor campus. Soon, the administrator of the store quit and left Bob in charge. Bob devoted himself managing the generous efforts of many Springmoor volunteers to provide the small goods that would be helpful to residents. He delighted in perfecting his routine of weekly grocery shopping trips to procure as many items as he could that would be helpful to the community.
Emily Castrodale, a longtime resident of Springmoor, was a volunteer at the store. Bob intended to visit his daughter Karen and her family in St. Louis. He expressed concern that he would not be able to shop for the store because of his trip. Emily volunteered but when she acknowledged that she was not familiar with spreadsheets, Bob expressed his doubts. However, he embarked on his trip to St. Louis, during which he received a triumphant call from Emily, consisting solely of the words, “I did it!”
Bob and Emily began spending more time together. They volunteered to give tours to prospective residents. One quietly asked Emily if she and Bob were a couple, to which Emily replied, “Not yet.”
As in his relationship with Joan, Bob did not take long to realize that he loved Emily. They made a delightful couple, brimming with curiosity and a devotion to activity and community service. Bob soon decided to propose to Emily but didn’t want to purchase a ring without her collaboration. As a lifelong problem-solver, he walked into his shop, made a ring out of a piece of PVC pipe and popped the question to Emily. Their family was stunned and delighted, then stunned again to learn that the wedding would be in six weeks. The marriage of these two octogenarians became a notable event at Springmoor and was even reported in The News and Observer, Raleigh’s local newspaper.
Bob and Emily lived many happy years together. They continued to manage the community store and travel around the country. When Emily passed away in May 2025, Bob mourned the loss of his dear love. Although in grief until his own passing three months later, Bob unfailingly expressed gratitude for his life and for having met and loved “two wonderful ladies”.
Bob’s final days were spent in his apartment with many of his children and grandchildren around. He loved the buzz and cacophony of his family when they were all together. Many friends came to visit and he embarked on several strolls to check-in on other friends and the staff at Springmoor to whom he was grateful for their empathic care.
Bob was predeceased by his parents; Ralph and Shelagh; his beloved first wife of 58 years, Joan Osterhus; his adoring second wife of 13 years, Emily Martenis Castrodale; his sister Margaret (Bill) Heiser; and his daughter Karen Sharitz.
Bob is survived by his sister, Shelagh (Jim) Murphy, sister-in-law, Janice (Archie) McFarlan, and his loving children: Rob (Julie) McGaffin of Ridgewood, NJ, Lynn (Tim) Hess of Raleigh, NC, David (Pamela Yellin) McGaffin of Boston, MA, Steve McGaffin of Knoxville, TN, and Mike Sharitz of Eureka, MO. He was a proud grandfather to Micah (Megan) Sharitz of Eureka, MO, Kevin (Brittany) Sharitz of Ellisville, MO, Madison (Darby) McGaffin of Seattle, WA, Trevor (Maya George) Hess of Charlotte, NC, Sam (Che Grayson) McGaffin of Brooklyn, NY, Jonas Hess of Greensboro, NC, Ian Reid-McGaffin of Brattleboro, VT, and Garrett Hess of High Point, NC. Bob was a great-grandfather to Cameron, Taylor, and Hunter Sharitz, and Lane McGaffin. He embraced his Castrodale family. Children: Anne Castrodale of Raleigh, NC and Dr. Reid W. Castrodale (Jessica) of Concord, NC. Grandchildren: Andrew Castrodale (Page) of Concord, NC and Laura Warr (Adam) of Kannapolis, NC. Great-grandchildren: Jack, Lincoln, Theo, and Emily Anne.
He will also be deeply missed by his many adoring nieces, nephews, and friends at Springmoor.
The family is deeply grateful to the Springmoor community, Stewart Health Center, and Transitions Hospice staff for the compassionate care they provided to Bob in his last weeks.
A Celebration of Life will be held at 2:00 PM on October 4th at Springmoor.
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Transitions LifeCare | 250 Hospice Circle, Raleigh, NC 27607.